Day 5: November 5

It is hard going into difficult territory--but you're right that that's where all the good stuff is. I went back and saw a play at my college a few years ago called Good (I can't remember who wrote it, sorry) that was about the Holocaust and this pretty normal guy who ends up getting slowly further and further sucked into the Nazi forces and a Jewish man who (I think... it's going back a few years) had been his friend before all of that happened. And it was interesting because one of the protagonists was this guy who you knew was going to get sucked into evil and it was just so sad. It's difficult subject matter, but you can do it. I think focusing on the children is a really interesting idea, and I think you could be left with something really great when this is all over.

That's the way to do it! Get those words on the page.

I've been writing the whole week with pen and paper in between notes I'm taking for my thesis. It's crazy. But it's working. I'm really enjoying writing it out this way. My plan is to capture what I've written on Saturday or Sunday and put it in the computer. We'll see what happens.
As for research on my play, there are a lot of source materials I wanted to read before I started writing, but I've decided to hell with it, I'm doing enough research. So I'm only looking up something when I absolutely run aground - that's another of my deals. Otherwise, I'm just making stuff up. If I can write it, it doesn't have to be accurate (and I'm not writing an historical drama anyway). I feel like I can go back later, do whatever research I feel I need to do or want to do and add that into the next draft.

...but I'm getting bogged down in being concerned about writing about the children of one of the most evil men in Hitler's inner circle. And her imaginary friend is the title character of King Matt the First by Janusz Korczak, a Jewish Polish doctor who died at Triblinka. Perhaps you can see the problem. I'm not so worried about people getting upset that I didn't adhere to the facts--I'm more worried about how the play will be taken, and that people won't be able to seperate the children from their parents. I am telling the play from Hedda's point of view, mostly because I was curious about how children would cope with the situation.

I'm just getting into a very scary place in this play, so it's like, I know I need to go there, because that's where the good stuff is, and i know I will be going there. I just need to spend a couple hours just getting out of this rut....

It's funny you should mention struggling with a true historical story and the storyline of your play. It's been coming up frequently in my class where we're developing full-length plays. One woman in my class is writing about a real-life event in the 1800s when a group of woman sculptors from Boston were living in Rome. And another person and I are both writing about characters based on people we know in real life, which isn't entirely the same but does have some similar issues surrounding it. Our professor is always saying to not get bogged down in portraying things exactly as they happened and in doing so sacrificing the story. So I think going where the characters seem to be pulling you is a good thing and that you're headed in the right direction.

I ended up having to work early this morning, so I wasn't able to work on 'In the Bunker' as much as I wanted to. I did do some research, and i have done a lot of thinking about the play, but I haven't done any more writing. Still struggling with the historical aspects versus where the characters may or may not be pulling me. I know I will follow them, and it will be fine. And I know that being scared of where the play is going is not a bad thing; it is, in fact, a good thing. So I am off to do more research and write a blog post. See you all tomorrow. :)

Except I'm also down with the I-can't-go-any-further flu. That's another post though.

i am sorry you're sick, but glad you've caught the Rhino Flu.

You have been awesomely supportive. I'm so glad you're here!

I wonder if there's something in the air, some need to re-write thing? I was filled with 'I'm a crappy writer' thoughts and  'I can't go forward I need to re-wriiiiiiiite.'

To counter all those fun feelings, I worked only with pen and paper today. Keep moving forward, no looking back. Get the next word on the page, and the next. Got two more scenes roughed out. It wasn't the funnest writing day I've ever had, it wasn't the most productive and I still feel like a crappy writer. But you know, this isn't coal mining. I get to be a writer. The words are on the page.

I get sick in falls. every year for as long as i can remember, i'm sick in falls. annoying headaches, cold nose, hurtful throat (yes, yes that hurtful swallowing and tastes of garlics, for that you have been eating in tons to somehow strengthen your immunity) and then you pass through streets, reading from pieces of newspaper on ground, hedlines of commercials, about one thing the whole world speaks about: SWINE FLU. am i having swine flu? you think. no, maybe you don't think, but i did. now i am certain this is not a swine flu i'm coping with, it's a brand new form of a flu. my symptoms are: nervousity of cheching calendar every day, depression of self doubt, confusion about information (do you know that in one week new york time newspaper you get more information than a human being in 18th century got throughout its lifetime? it's surely not true, but in that modern century it's nice to get worried of that fact). i have also new sickness that involves my hand. my hand hates blank pages and that annoying stripe which you have before every new letter you will write. have you noticed it actually blinks,waiting desperately for you to write something, to create? so my sick hand then deletes all of the previous written words, because it surely is easier than creating new ones. ahhh, how they hated wives of composers, because these women used oftenly written symphonies to heat room. well, i like eating words more than spitting them out, at least it fills your stomach.

so in the end i realize, it's not swine fly, because this is a new flu which all of media (starting with very informative new york times) should write about: RHINO FLU.
so, if you are having any of these symptoms (and yes, its very contagious because i'm sure i got it from this page at first place) then you know, it's rhino flu and the only cure possible is to

write.

good luck to you all in recovering.

I am such a bad writer that I don't even deserve to call myself a "writer." Is it day 5? I don't even have a firm grasp of what day it is. I've done NOTHING this week. Nothing at all. Sunday, day 1, I just felt sad and headachey and mentally out of it. I submitted two ten-minutes to the KCACTF thingie and that's it. Mondays and Tuesdays are my class days (playwriting workshops). I workshopped a ten-minute play on Tuesday, but no actual writing got done either day. For some reason, class completely wears me out even if it's not a day where my play is being workshopped. And last night I was just plain lazy and took a friend up on a last-minute dinner invite. So now here I am with nothing new written five days in. I need to do something tonight, whether or not it ends up being for my official NaPlWriMo project. I have to write lyrics to two songs by next Tuesday, and I need to do some tweaking to a ten-minute play to submit it a few places. And work every day. This will get done... I mean, it has to or otherwise I have no MFA thesis. :P But it's just been hard lately.

So far I'm avoiding the temptation to go back and edit, but my challenge is in the outlining.  I have definite scenes in my brain that need to go in, and bits of dialogue, and images, but I could see where I would get totally bogged down in where it all goes precisely.

The exhortations to just write are very freeing, because I'm hoping I can just get it all down, and do the rearranging later if need be. Plus, you never know what neato stuff may occur by not lining up all the tenpins so exactly...

I, too, must confess to editing. It's to help the plot, I swear! I have also started a "stuff to look up later" page to keep track of the fact checking and research I need to do LATER..but wiki is an evil, time-sucking, pit of esoteria...one minute you're looking up what the most popular musicals were in 1936, and the next thing you know, an hour has passed and you're fully informed about Ethel Merman, USO shows, and how a light bulb is made. But no writing has occurred!

Chugging along. Hugs to all.

Keep writing!

I confess. I am guilty as charged. Despite your warnings oh mighty naplwrimo, I have succumbed. It started with a spelling check as I typed up my handwritten pages, then a quick search of wiki to confirm the names of the art movements that pesky dealer woman keeps talking about, and before I know where I am, I'm editing.

I'm so weak.

Play's coming on fine though. Thanks for everyone's positivity - it really helps.