A TOPPLING HOUSE OF CARDS by Rose
Flutter/quiver/stumble/tremble/topple/quaver/teeter
PREFACE
(LOU stands center
downstage and speaks to the audience, lit by spotlight.
Everyone thinks I’m gay. I’m not gay. I’m not. But they think I am. Just because I’m a nice guy. Because I go out for drinks with my friends but don’t get stone drunk. In fact, when I say I love my wife I get the well-that-ones-definitely-queer look. Because I love my WIFE? But I’m not gay.
I’m an idealist. I pray. I pray for world peace, actually. My wife says I could win a beauty pageant with the things I say. But I don’t know if bikinis are quite my style. Military cuts aren’t my style, either, though. Even though I’m in the Secret Service.
Life confuses me. I don’t know if it confuses anyone else as much as it befuddles me. I don’t understand. It seems so arbitrary. But I believe in people. I really do. I like people. They mean well. I think that everyone wants to be a hero, and if you just give them that chance... well, life could be different. Just another of my theories.
I can’t stand idealists. Don’t they realize they’re living in a tangible world that doesn’t give a damn what their moral views are? This world doesn’t care if you believe in something. All that matters is how many people you have watching your back.
They act so high and mighty. Like they know everything. Like they’re better than you. Like their life is the only life worth living. Ha. Well, I’m just as alive as any of them. I breathe. I eat. I get drunk on weekends. That’s right. I’ve been drunk. I’ve had sex. I’ve even smoked pot.
And I believe in things. I believe in governments. I believe in winning. I believe in something. Not world peace. I don’t hold with that notion.
SCENE I
(The stage is black.
The lights come up on a man sitting in a chair at a table with three hard-backed
chairs around it. He is building a house of cards. Throughout the play the
house is built higher and higher. Games are played downstage from the house,
but on the same table. The house should be large enough to be noticeable, but
not so large that it draws attention from the actors. From offstage is a voice
(
LOU
Hello... hello... (Silence.) Who’s there? Who’s there? (He whistles as he backs onstage, slowly approaching the table. He does not notice the other man.) Hell-oh! Hell-
FRANK
(as the echo) Hello.
LOU
Aah! (pause) What are you?
FRANK
Well, I’m human, I suppose, and a patriot first and foremost.
LOU
Oh. What? Then, why are, what are you doing here?
FRANK
What are we all doing? Simply biding our time.
LOU
Oh. Right.
FRANK
And you would be...
LOU
Patriot. American.
FRANK
By the name of...
LOU
Oh. Right. Lou. Lou Markson.
FRANK
(Extends hand.) Hello Lou, I’m Frank.
LOU
Oh. Hello. Frank.
FRANK
(awkward pause) Take a seat?
LOU
Oh! Yes. Love to. Love to.
FRANK
Do you... wanna play?
LOU
Is there... is there no one else coming?
FRANK
Nope. It’s you and me till the war ends.
LOU
That’s so? You and me?
FRANK
Yep. (Resumes shuffling cards.) They briefed you, right?
LOU
Oh. Ahem. Yes. Of course. I knew that. Till the end of the war.
FRANK
Ready to play?
LOU
No one else coming?
FRANK
(pause.) No.
LOU
Just me and you?
FRANK
You and me.
LOU
But the extra chair?
FRANK
Torture rack. (Pause) I wasn’t serious.
LOU
Oh. Torture, ha ha ha. A joke. Right.
FRANK
Loosen up. We’ve got a long while to go. Are you in?
LOU
In what? In trouble? In on the conspiracy?
FRANK
The GAME. Card game. Nothing to do with the war. Thirteen.
LOU
Oh. Thirteen. Sure. Deal ‘em out.
FRANK
I’ll deal while you talk.
LOU
Talk? To who?
FRANK
To me. Never met you before. Who are you?
LOU
Ah. Lou. I’m 32. Married. Got one kid.
FRANK
Nice. Anything interesting?
LOU
Oh. No. Not really.
FRANK
Never done anything stupid?
LOU
Well, I... I’m sure I have, um, something like, um, well, I can’t think of anything right now. I’m mean, I’m sure I have, everyone does, but, not now. Sorry.
FRANK
It’ll come to you.
LOU
You?
FRANK
Killed a few men. Not much else.
LOU
Killed a... oh.
FRANK
Kid, you’re too young to be this intimidated. I’ve never killed anyone. Your play.
LOU
Um, three of spades and three of diamonds.
FRANK
Pair of sevens. You ever traveled anywhere?
LOU
Uh, pair of nines. No.
FRANK
Haven’t you done anything?
LOU
Oh.Well. I suppose. Pair of queens.
FRANK
You’re 32?
LOU
Yes. 32.
FRANK
32 and you’ve done nothing to speak of.
LOU
Well, I wouldn’t put it that way.
FRANK
Then what have you done?
LOU
I can’t think of anything right now!
FRANK
You can’t think of one thing that’s made your life worthwhile?
LOU
I’ve done plenty of things in my life!
FRANK
Then tell me one.
LOU
I’m trying to think of something!
FRANK
Lou. Look at me. You’re 32.
LOU
I know. I don’t need someone I’ve never met harping on me. You’ve got no idea what I’ve done. I might have saved the world.
FRANK
You’re right. I have no idea. But I hope YOU have some idea of what’s made your life worthwhile. Pair of kings.
LOU
(pause) Pair of aces.
FRANK
It’s mine. Two of diamonds and two of hearts. (the phone rings.)
LOU
What’s that?
FRANK
It’s a phone.
LOU
Yes. But it’s ringing.
FRANK
That is what phones do.
LOU
But... but it’s ringing!
FRANK
It will continue to ring until you pick it up.
LOU
Is someone calling us?
FRANK
That’s generally what it means when a phone rings.
LOU
Oh. Do we answer it?
FRANK
I’ll let you use your judgment.
LOU
Oh. (He sits for a moment, then springs to his feet as the phone rings again.) Hello? Oh, sorry. This is Lou Markson. Well I’m... I’m down here. In the bomb shelter. Yes. Frank... is here. Well, I suppose I have found it, I’m holding it. It’s... a red phone. Thanks. Well, ah, yes, just let us know. Anything, anything we can do. Happy to... thank... goodbye. (He hangs up.)
FRANK
The president?
LOU
The president?
FRANK
Is that who called?
LOU
The president?!
FRANK
Who called?
LOU
That was the president?
FRANK
I don’t know. You’re the one who talked to him.
LOU
So I did recognize his voice.
FRANK
Bet it was the president.
LOU
I’ve never... I’ve never spoken to the president before.
FRANK
You’ll get used to it.
LOU
Does he call often?
FRANK
He’s the one who’ll let us know.
LOU
Let us know what?
FRANK
When to push the button.
The button?
To set the bomb off.
The bomb? Oh! Oh, yes. That bomb.
That bomb? The bomb.
The bomb. Is that what we call it?
Could be. Don’t see why not.
There isn’t... there’s no code... for it? Just, keep it under cover?
Undercover? Do you realize where we are?
A... bomb shelter.
We’re 480 feet below sea-level in the middle of
Oh God.
Nope. He can’t hear you down here, either.
I... I get claustrophobic.
You’ll get over it.
Really bad. I...I can’t breathe.
Don’t stop breathing. That won’t help anything.
I can’t... I can’t help it!
I really don’t want to give you mouth-to-mouth.
Four... hundred... and eighty...feet.
Makes six-feet under not sound so bad, eh?
Aah!
If you think about, that’s like dying eighty times.
I... excuse me. (He rushes out, followed by the sound of retching.)
(Flinching) Right. I can already tell this is gonna be fun.
SCENE II
(
Dear
(
It’s autumn where you are, isn’t it? The yellow leaves always remind me of our first date. Do you remember... walking through the park, straying off the path... (FRANK looks up, startled.) and making golden crowns of leaves for each other? How could I forget? I think of you every day. I miss... everything about you. (He sits up.) This is absurd. I’m not a poet.
No, you’re really not.
(Scrambles to his feet, stuffing letter under his shirt.) What are you doing here?
What am I doing? I’m reading the newspaper.
LOU
Why in here?
FRANK
Hey. I live here. Remember?
LOU
But... but... I didn’t... I didn’t know you were in here! Why didn’t you say anything?
FRANK
I was reading my newspaper. Besides, you were busy.
LOU
Next time say something!
FRANK
Alright, alright.
LOU
Don’t... don’t LISTEN like that.
FRANK
Okay.
LOU
No LISTENING!
FRANK
Alright! I’ll let you know whenever I’m within earshot.
LOU
Do that.
FRANK
Walk around with a megaphone, announcing “make waaay for Fraaank...”
LOU
Shut up.
FRANK
So no talking and no listening?
LOU
Just... what’s in the newspaper?
FRANK
Oh... the usual: a bunch of words. Lots of headlines and editors and pictures and threats followed by promises and whatnot.
LOU
Anything else?
FRANK
Certificate for a free shampooing and haircut.
LOU
Great. I could use that down here.
FRANK
And a piece on the war.
LOU
Oh yeah?
FRANK
Yep.
LOU
What’s it say?
FRANK
Don’t know yet. I got distracted by your remembrances.
LOU
Uh-huh. Let me see it.
FRANK
No, it’s mine, get off.
LOU
Just let me see the article.
FRANK
No.
LOU
Ah, come on.
FRANK
Not on your life.
LOU
Just gimme it.
FRANK
I’ll trade you.
LOU
Trade? For what?
FRANK
Gimme that letter and I’ll...
LOU
(interrupting) Okay, okay. Read it out loud then.
FRANK
Ahem.
Restoration of Order Moves Forward. Plans to improve the genocide in the state of [insert name] have been the topic of discussion for months. Earlier this week the government sent a step-by-step plan to the United Nations to be approved regarding the repair of the area. The government has received news today that the plan has been accepted and they will be permitted to move forward on it. “All of us at the White House are, of course, very very excited” says the president. “This is a huge step toward, well, global awareness and a noticeable move in what’s generally considered the right direction for everyone.” The country watches with baited breath to see the tangible implications of the aforementioned plan.
Well. We appear to be improving.
LOU
Of course.
FRANK
Of course what?
LOU
Of course we’re improving. According to the newspaper. Can it say anything else?
FRANK
Well, just down here it discusses the best wax to remove unwanted hair from your legs.
LOU
You know what I mean.
FRANK
No, I don’t.
LOU
Freedom of speech?
FRANK
I’ve heard of it.
LOU
Bullocks.
FRANK
Is that so?
LOU
Yep. The right to life, liberty, all of that. It’s all words.
FRANK
Just how do you figure that?
LOU
The government tells us it’s doing well over there so that we’ll follow them blindly. Obey every order. Not think for ourselves.
FRANK
The government needs us to obey it in order to work. That’s how the country runs.
LOU
The government doesn’t need a country full of sheep.
FRANK
It doesn’t need instigators and heretics, either.
LOU
But look around you.
FRANK
At what?
LOU
The injustice.
FRANK
Oh. That’s not the government’s fault.
LOU
But isn’t it our responsibility to assist those that need our help?
FRANK
Those in our own country, yes. That’s why we create countries. To separate people out. Draw boundaries. Decide who we have to take care of.
LOU
No. No, everyone. Not just Americans.
FRANK
We are Americans. We live in the
LOU
What about the rest?
FRANK
They have their own governments. Don’t they get some of the responsibility?
LOU
But if they can’t take care of their people someone else has to step in!
FRANK
It’s not our place. We have our own problems. We created
LOU
But how can you look around at all the injustice and not PUKE?
FRANK
I don’t see it. You and me, we’re fighting injustice right now. Aren’t we? Aren’t we protecting Americans? Is there anything better we could be doing?
LOU
God, there’s so much more that
FRANK
Look, everyone makes mistakes. You forgive them. Move on. You can’t dump everyone who screws up. You wouldn’t have a single friend.
LOU
There comes a point where enough is enough.
FRANK
Who draws the line?
LOU
Someone has to. I do. I draw it.
FRANK
You? You’re 32. What do you know of life?
LOU
Enough. I’ve seen enough. Doesn’t it make you just the least bit sick? All the pain in this world?
FRANK
At 46 I’m older than dirt. At my age you learn to get over it.
LOU
Get over it? Get over that the world is a massive flesh wound, ignore the voices of the starving children, everyone who’s struggling, suffering, dying? Get over it?
FRANK
It’s that or you end up living an angry, depressed life.
LOU
Is that the choice, then? Complacent acceptance or furious outrage?
FRANK
Something like that.
LOU
But if everyone just gives up it’ll always be this way.
FRANK
Until we blow ourselves up. Or the sun does.
LOU
How can you give in?
FRANK
How can you keep up the strength to fight it your whole life?
LOU
Someone has to.
FRANK
People have.
LOU
And?
FRANK
I believe the latest one got himself crucified.
LOU
But it could be so much better.
FRANK
It could. It could be many things.
LOU
Don’t you want something more out of life?
FRANK
Yes. I’d like more pineapple and chances to sleep in.
LOU
You’re not taking me seriously.
FRANK
And wool socks.
LOU
Frank.
FRANK
How many pairs do you have?
LOU
Pears?
FRANK
Yes. Pairs.
LOU
Well I... I haven’t eaten a pear... since I’ve been down here. Over a month.
FRANK
You ate a pair?
LOU
At some point, I’m sure.
FRANK
Did it taste alright?
LOU
I don’t remember. Probably. I like pairs.
FRANK
What ever possessed you to eat one?
LOU
Have you never eaten a pear?
FRANK
No. I wear them on my feet.
LOU
On your feet?
FRANK
Yup.
LOU
Ugh. Are you still talking about the wool socks?
FRANK
Yup.
LOU
Drop it.
FRANK
But it’s true. The simple things in life make the difference.
LOU
How can you justifiably enjoy your happiness knowing that every three seconds a child needlessly dies?
FRANK
I’ll readily admit that I don’t spend every moment of my life thinking about that subject.
LOU
Isn’t that the least bit selfish?
FRANK
Lou. I don’t see you offering to breathe for me.
LOU
Well, I-
FRANK
Selfish? Is it selfish? For me to live my life for myself? Yes. Yes, I suppose it is. I live selfishly. It’s my life. Right?
LOU
But you have a duty to-
FRANK
Ah, ah, ah. And your life is your own. If you want to spend it administering CPR to me so that I don’t have to breathe on my own, feel free.
LOU
That’s beside the point...
FRANK
No, it’s not. It’s valiant and all to want to dedicate your life to the human race, but when all is said and done, it’s still your life.
LOU
What about all the other lives that don’t have a chance?
FRANK
Look. Not everyone gets the chance you get. Yes, life is a bit rigged. Does that mean you shouldn’t play at all? I guess you have to decide that for yourself. But if you don’t play the game, then you’ll never live. Lou, at some point you have to let it all go.
LOU
That sounds like accepting defeat.
FRANK
More like acknowledging what you can change and what you can’t.
LOU
And what is it you can change?
FRANK
Myself.
(Phone rings off stage.)
LOU
The phone?
FRANK
Can’t be for me. I don’t have anyone out there anymore.
LOU
I’ll get it. (LOU
stands and exits the stage.)
FRANK
( FRANK rises and
fixes a chair LOU knocked over.) Young men are so odd. Idealistic and
frustrated all at once. They mean well, but end up sitting around… espousing
theories and beliefs and ways of life but never… get there. (pause) I sometimes wonder if I’ve made
a mistake. (Laughs) How could I not
have? I’m living four hundred and eighty feet below the rest of civilization
with him. An idealistic nut job.
Mistakes. God, I’ve made mistakes. I just don’t know what matters anymore.
Everything’s so… clear to him. So black and white. Right and wrong. Just and
injust. Worthy and a waste of time. A waste of a life. But I… I don’t know. I
just don’t know. Maybe this is where I’m supposed to be. Sitting down here in a
bomb shelter.
LOU
(LOU runs onstage with
the phone.) Frank, Frank! I… I don’t know what’s wrong! Sara? Sara, talk to
me. Stop crying, Sara, I can’t, Sara! Honey, I can’t understand you. She… she
can’t talk… she… I can’t, I don’t know what… what… (FRANK takes the phone.)
FRANK
Sara? Take a breath. And another one. Okay, Sara. Talk to me. Mary? Oh. Hmm. Alright. I’ll tell him. Yes. God bless. Good-bye.
LOU
What is it?
FRANK
You might need to sit down.
LOU
No. What is it?
FRANK
Sit down.
LOU
I can take it standing up. Tell me. TELL ME.
FRANK
It’s Mary.
LOU
WHAT? TELL ME, FOR CHRISSAKE!
FRANK
Mary said her first word!
LOU
(beat) What?
FRANK
Mary said her first word.
LOU
She... ha ha! Her first word, that’s, that’s great, she’s speaking, ha! I can’t believe it! Her first -
FRANK
Do you want to know what it was?
LOU
Does it matter? She spoke! Ha ha! Did you hear? She talks!
FRANK
She said “daddy.”
LOU
(beat) Daddy.
FRANK
Yes. Daddy. As in you.
LOU
FRANK
Yep.
LOU
I can’t believe it.
FRANK
Straight from your wife’s mouth.
LOU
She said Daddy. (beat) And I wasn’t there.(Pause) She spoke her first word, but Daddy wasn’t there. Daddy’s down here.
FRANK
Well, you can’t help it.
LOU
I should be there with her. I’m her father. I belong with her.
FRANK
You belong down here.
LOU
She’s my daughter.
FRANK
You signed a contract.
LOU
I signed... but my baby girl.
FRANK
The contract is binding.
LOU
Nothing is more binding than, than being, than being a father. A father with a daughter. A father with a daughter he loves.
FRANK
The government doesn’t see it that way.
LOU
It doesn’t matter. I’m missing out on her childhood. She said her first word. I have to be there. Firsts only happen once. I can’t miss anymore.
FRANK
Kid or no kid, you have to stay here. Contracts and all that.
LOU
I… I am waiting down here… waiting to push… a button… a button that will kill… kill someone else’s child.
FRANK
The bomb isn’t aimed at civilian children.
LOU
Can you promise that no children will die? I didn’t think so. I can’t… I can’t do it. I can’t live down here… Life just… keeps on going out there. My baby girl is growing up. But time… time has stopped. For us. Hasn’t it? Time doesn’t pass down here. We have all the time in the world now but it will be gone before we know what to do with it. (beat) I’m going to call the president.
FRANK
No you’re not. Call your wife, if you call anyone.
LOU
I’m calling the goddamn president. Telling him what I think of his goddamn war and goddamn bombs.
FRANK
You don’t know his number. Call your wife.
LOU
Fine. I’ll call my wife. (LOU
exits and FRANK sinks into a chair. He continues work on the house of cards.
LOU reenters.)
LOU
Where’s the exit?
FRANK
Exit?
LOU
The exit! Where’s the exit?
FRANK
There isn’t one.
LOU
There has to be. Where is it?
FRANK
Where’re you trying to go?
LOU
Somewhere else. Anywhere but here. Home.
FRANK
You can’t, Lou. Sit down.
LOU
Not sitting down. I’m leaving.
FRANK
You’re not going anywhere and you know it.
LOU
I’m not staying. I’m leaving.
FRANK
Sit down, Lou. Please, sit down.
LOU
I can’t stay. I have to get home. Frank, I need to be with my family.
FRANK
You can’t leave, Lou.
LOU
Yes, yes I can. I will. I’m going home.
FRANK
You can’t go home.
LOU
I have to.
FRANK
Alright. Go ahead. (LOU exits the stage.) And five, four, three, two…
LOU
Frank, I don’t know where the exit is.
FRANK
There is no exit.
LOU
I have to get out. I have to get home. Frank, you’ve got-
FRANK
Sit down, Lou.
LOU
I’m not sitting down.
FRANK
Yes, you are. Sit down, Lou.
LOU
I can’t sit here.
FRANK
You don’t have a choice.
LOU
I can’t sit and wait for something else monumental to happen, Frank, I can’t. The first step, the first laugh, the firsts I’ll miss. She’s growing up. I can’t miss that.
FRANK
Just sit down for a second, Lou. Sit down.
LOU
The waiting… the tedium… I can’t take it… I’m leaving, I—
FRANK
Lou, you signed a contract, you can’t leave.
LOU
It’s my daughter, I’m her father, I’m her father, her FATHER.
FRANK
What are you going to do? Walk out?
LOU
I’m her father.
FRANK
You know the consequences.
LOU
I’m her father.
FRANK
If you leave, if you tell anyone, even through an accident, if word of this operation gets out, you know what happens.
LOU
It’s my baby girl. My baby.
FRANK
You’ll go jail. Or worse. That’s the consequence.
LOU
I’m already in jail. This place is a jail.
FRANK
Lou, you’re not being reasonable.
LOU
Oh, I am. I’m being reasonable. For once.
FRANK
No, you’re overreacting. Calm down.
LOU
I’m not going to calm down until you get me out of here!
FRANK
I can’t get you out. There is no way out.
LOU
There is a way out. And you HAVE to show me where it is. Now. Please, Frank.
FRANK
Lou, sit down.
LOU
No.
FRANK
Lou, sit down.
LOU
No!
FRANK
Lou, sit—
LOU
Stop it! I’m leaving!
FRANK
Lou… Lou… take a breath. You know you can’t leave. You know there’s no way out. You know this. Stop fighting it. We, neither of us, leave this shelter until the fighting stops—
LOU
Ha.
FRANK
Or we set off the bomb.
LOU
Those are some shitty alternatives.
FRANK
That’s life.
LOU
So a miracle or murder?
FRANK
You’ve known this from the beginning. Stop fighting. It’s useless.
LOU
How can I stop fighting? How can I? I HAVE to fight it, I have to fight. Someone has to fight it. Someone has to, someone.
FRANK
Okay, Lou. Okay.
LOU
You don’t know… I’ve never felt, never felt this. So… so stretched with, life, life is choking me. Leaving me behind. I am missing out on the most important years in my daughter’s life. And for what?
FRANK
For your country.
LOU
My country? No. To kill. To kill thousands. Hundreds of thousands. Waiting. To become. A murderer.
FRANK
(beat) This is treason.
LOU
And what if it is? It’s the truth.
FRANK
You ignore the truth in a position like this.
LOU
I’d rather die.
FRANK
And yet somehow you live.
LOU
Kill me.
FRANK
No.
LOU
I want to die. My baby’s growing up without me and I can’t. Do. Anything for her. Can’t even see her. I’ve given up the greatest gift anyone can have for the chance to murder.
FRANK
You can’t save everyone.
LOU
I can sure as hell try.
FRANK
Look. We’re friends. I won’t report you.
LOU
I wish you would. I wish someone would.
FRANK
You’re not a communist. You’re just a befuddled father.
LOU
I have immortal longings in me. Shakespeare. Is that a crime?
FRANK
Lou, you shouldn’t say—
LOU
Is that a crime?!
FRANK
Don’t bring this up again.
LOU
Is it? What have I done wrong?
FRANK
Treason. This. Is treason. Don’t pull me into it. I want to get out alive.
LOU
Don’t we all?
FRANK
You seem to have a death wish. I should think that with a family out there you’d be a little more careful.
LOU
I’m trying to protect them.
FRANK
You’ve got a funny way of playing the hero.
LOU
At least I try.
SCENE III
(FRANK is once more
sitting in the chair building on the house of cards as LOU enters. He watches,
sizing up the scene, then approaches the table.)
FRANK
Ready to play?
LOU
Sure. Deal ‘em out.
FRANK
Thirteen?
LOU
Yeah. The usual wager?
FRANK
Why not? When they call, loser answers. Fair enough?
LOU
Fair. You start.
FRANK
Ah... 3 of spades is mine.
LOU
Pair of fives.
FRANK
Pair of sevens.
LOU
Ten Jack Queen.
FRANK
Pair of aces.
LOU
It’s yours.
FRANK
Did your wife answer?
LOU
She answered... couldn’t talk too long. Mary spilled something on a couch.
FRANK
She said anything else?
LOU
Not yet. She’s still Daddy’s little girl. My baby girl.
FRANK
You miss her.
LOU
A bit.
FRANK
It’s hurtin’ your game.
LOU
Nah, I’ll beat you this time. I’m up. Three of spades.
FRANK
Three of hearts.
LOU
Four of spades.
FRANK
Ah... that breaks my heart right there, Lou. Breaks it.
LOU
That it does, my friend. Play on. Play. On.
FRANK
I have three eights for you.
LOU
And there’s three nines. Beat that.
FRANK
I will, I will. Gimme a moment.
LOU
You’re losing your edge—
FRANK
I’ve got something.
LOU
Getting’ old, starting to fade—
FRANK
I’m not old.
LOU
You’re an old man...
FRANK
I’m only 39. Shut up and let me think.
LOU
Hands are shaking—
FRANK
Quit bugging me.
LOU
Not the same rapid play as before, blurry vision—
FRANK
Cut it out. I mean it.
LOU
Old, an old man. Worn out, fading—
FRANK
Shut up! (A phone rings and the men freeze, breathing hard in each other’s faces. It rings again. They turn to stare at it.) I won the last game. It’s your turn.
LOU
We always do best out of seven. That one doesn’t count.
FRANK
Got to cut it short.
LOU
Not cutting anything short.
FRANK
This could be the last one—
LOU
It’s not the last one, damn it.
FRANK
Get the phone.
LOU
You.
FRANK
Not my turn.
LOU
Just get it!
(It rings for a fourth
time and they both dive for it at once, suddenly springing into action after
the long seconds of perfect stillness. FRANK wins )
FRANK
Hello? Frank here.
Yes. Yes sir, Mr. President. (LOU
sinks into a chair and crosses himself) I’m sorry to hear that. We’ll be
ready and waiting. Just call. Yes sir. (He
presses the button to hang up but continues staring at the phone.)
LOU
What’d he say?
FRANK
You heard.
LOU
Maybe I heard wrong.
FRANK
You didn’t hear wrong.
LOU
Tell me. I want to be sure.
FRANK
Be ready and... waiting for a... a call.
LOU
A call.
FRANK
The call.
LOU
Ready and waiting. (FRANK
hangs up the phone and the two move toward the tables, place headphones on
their head, typing furiously.)
LOU
Hey Frank?
FRANK
Are you ready?
LOU
Frank?
FRANK
Not now.
LOU
Frank.
FRANK
Just put the combo in!
LOU
We can’t—
FRANK
I said not now!
LOU
Something... something doesn’t seem—
FRANK (He turns from
his computer to shout at LOU’S face.) We’ve been waiting for months for
this moment! Don’t screw it up. You’re not going to do this to me. Pull
yourself together! (He turns back and
resumes typing.)
LOU
(LOU walks to center
downstage and faces to the audience, scuffing his shoes, not meeting their eyes
until he speaks. The lights should direct attention on LOU.)
I think I might puke. I’ve never felt this sick. I could really puke. I’ve always had a weak stomach. Had an upside-down valve operated on when I was younger, but never stopped throwing up. Habit now, I guess. But this is different. Is this sickness worth what I’m, what we’re about to do? What ARE we doing here? It’s moving too fast. I don’t know. I honestly don’t. All I know is I’m standing here pushing buttons, entering codes, and I feel sick. I’m not trying to tell you what to think, if it’s right or wrong, hell, I don’t even know. I just know this: it makes me sick. (The phone rings.)
LOU
I got it.
FRANK
Do what they say. Lou?
LOU
Lou speaking. What, what can... what can we do for you, sir. (He listens.) Yes sir. Right away. (FRANK puts his head in his hands.) Not a moments delay. Goodbye. (He hangs up.) Well that’s it then.
FRANK
Is it... the end?
LOU
They called it off.
FRANK
Mother of God. (After
a pause FRANK walks over to the table, picks up the cards, and begins stacking
them one by one onto the house of cards. LOU begins to speak but FRANK begins
to deal cards out and interrupts) Wanna play?
LOU
Right now?
FRANK
Why not?
LOU
Not now.
FRANK
I’ve already dealt it.
LOU
Then pick them up again! They’re just cards! You can deal them
and redeal and toss them on the floor and it doesn’t matter! (He jumps up, throws several of the cards on
the floor as he talks and grinds his heel into them.)
FRANK
Lou, hey Lou. Come on, don’t lose it. Get a hold of yourself.
LOU
I’ve got myself, Frank. I’ve got me. Right here. I’m here. But it’s just you and me, frank. You and me.
FRANK
Well yeah. I mean, it’s been just you and me for months, hasn’t it?
LOU
Months! Months and months and months. What are months if there’s no one to notice the passing of time?
FRANK
What are you talking about?
LOU
They called, Frank! Didn’t you hear? You talked them! They almost told us to... to push it! To push the goddamn button! We almost pushed it.
FRANK
Not this time. We didn’t have to. It’s alright.
LOU
Not this time. Right. But what about next time? What about that one time when they tell us to push it? What are we going to do?
FRANK
Well. We’ll push it. It’s why we’re down here, right? To push the button. It’s our job. Right? We don’t have a choice, do we?
LOU
But don’t you always have a choice? It’s that why we’re down here? So everyone up there has a choice? Are we supposed to be securing freedom, not blowing it up?
FRANK
But we’re not destroying freedom. We’re destroying... the enemy. The ones endangering freedom.
LOU
Who are they?
FRANK
The one’s with the bombs!
LOU
WE’RE the ones with the bombs! Frank, don’t you see, we’re the ones with the bombs.
FRANK
No. We aren’t-
LOU
Frank. Look around you. If we push that button what happens?
FRANK
The bomb... the bomb goes off. Just like it should. Like it needs to.
LOU
And then what happens?
FRANK
Then we leave here. Go back to the sunshine and clean air. You want to get back, don’t you?
LOU
Of course I want to get back. I don’t want to live like this. I want to get home. To my family. To my wife. My children. I have people out there.
FRANK
It’s not just about you. It’s about our country.
LOU
I know. Everyone’s got someone. Everyone. Up there. Has someone. All the people that will die if we push that button have someone they love, have someone who cares about them. I know. God, I know.
FRANK
(pause) I don’t know. We just do our job. Right?
LOU
Think about it. Next time may be it. What will you do? (pause) I’m sorry I lost it, Frank. You wanna deal the cards out?
FRANK
Do you still want to play?
LOU
Yeah. Yeah, I’ll play with you.
FRANK
Alright. Deal ‘em out. You’re not gonna flip out again, are you?
LOU
Nah. I got things figured out.
FRANK
Yeah, well, you just try and beat me now.
SCENE IV
(The two men sit
onstage, one at the table, one not. LOU fidgets nervously as FRANK adds to the
house of cards. They show signs of stress and insomnia, unshaven and twitchy,
especially LOU.)
LOU
Ten months.
FRANK
Yup.
LOU
Ten long months.
FRANK
Yup.
LOU
We have been living in a concrete house for ten months.
FRANK
Yup.
LOU
Four hundred and eighty feet below the rest of human existence.
FRANK
Yup.
LOU
In
FRANK
Yup.
LOU
Ten months.
FRANK
Yup.
LOU
You can do a lot in ten months.
FRANK
Yup.
LOU
Or nothing.
FRANK
Yup.
LOU
But I’ll bet you couldn’t go for ten months saying only “yup” could you?
FRANK
(pause.) Not likely.
LOU
I’m boring you.
FRANK
Everything bores me at this point.
LOU
Ten months.
FRANK
Do you have to rub it in?
LOU
I just can’t believe... ten months, Frank. Ten.
FRANK
Yes. I heard. Ten.
LOU
Ten months. What are we doing?
FRANK
I am building on this house of cards waiting for you to suggest a rousing game of thirteen while instead you muse over wasted potential.
LOU
I’m examining the glass. Some people, some people take for granted that the glass contains half a cup of water.
FRANK
Hmm.
LOU
But me? I intend to look at the glass; see for myself.
FRANK
Tell me about this glass.
LOU
Well. There’s a glass. Right?
FRANK
If you say so.
LOU
There is. And there’s something in this glass. I assume.
FRANK
I will assume the same.
LOU
Now, what that is, or how much, or even how it got there is unknown. Right?
FRANK
Correct.
LOU
But this glass… this glass is… is a life.
FRANK
Ah.
LOU
And this… this life is yours.
FRANK
We do all have that in common.
LOU
And what this glass looks like isn’t… okay, it’s like this. The glass. It isn’t half full nor half empty. Well, maybe it is, but if it is, that’s how you made it.
FRANK
Meaning…?
LOU
Whatever is in that glass is exactly what you’ve put in there. The glass is your life and you make that life. It’s so simple!
FRANK
You have too much time on your hands. (He refocuses his attention on the house of cards.)
LOU
Too much time. Ten months of time. (beat) I forget that what’s happening right now, it isn’t just working for the government, it isn’t just paying the bills.
FRANK
No? Then what is it? A pleasure cruise?
LOU
It’s my life.
FRANK
And what a life it is. Down in a house of concrete.
LOU
My wife would hate it down here.
FRANK
I hate it down here.
LOU
Really, Frank. This is me. This is what I’ve got.
FRANK
Yup.
LOU
I didn’t realize that when I agreed to stay down here and... and push that... that button... that I’d be spending part of my life down here.
FRANK
What else would you spend?
LOU
Time?
FRANK
Yup. A goodly portion of it.
LOU
But that time... that time is MY LIFE.
FRANK
Yes. We’ve reached that conclusion already.
LOU
Frank. When the government says, fifteen bucks an hour, chap, I’ll pay you fifteen. And you say yes, and then sign so many times your wrist goes limp, somehow it never sinks in that the fifteen bucks is paying for something.
FRANK
It doesn’t?
LOU
Nope. It doesn’t seem to be paying for anything tangible.
FRANK
Yes, it is. Paying for an hour of your time.
LOU
Aha! That’s it right there. Exactly. And that hour of time is MY time. It’s mine.
FRANK
That’s why they pay you for it.
LOU
But I didn’t realize that hour was a part of my life.
FRANK
Well, it is, I’m afraid.
LOU
I... I can’t just spend my life getting paid for it. There’s no point to that.
FRANK
Money is a beautiful thing.
LOU
To some. But I don’t think you could pay me enough to get my life from me.
FRANK
And yet we all accept pay by the hour.
LOU
Just because you pay me doesn’t mean I’ll give you a piece of my life. It’s mine. You can’t have it for money. Maybe for love. For humanity. But not money. I cannot spend a single moment of my life not living it. This is the only chance I get, how can you pay me to waste it?
FRANK
Despite your fantastic ideas, you are a salaried worker.
LOU
But I have ideals. I have plans.
FRANK
Ah, but they’re all in your head.
LOU
I’m going to live them, though. Once I get out of here. I’m going to live.
FRANK
Once you get out, eh?
LOU
You betcha. Once I breathe that sweet air. I’m going to the beach, Frank. Going to take a vacation. Going to live.
FRANK
What are you waiting for?
LOU
Well, I can’t do anything down here.
FRANK
So you’ll wait.
LOU
Well, yes, I mean, I have to.
FRANK
“The great mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
LOU
What?
FRANK
Thoreau.
LOU
I don’t understand.
FRANK
Quiet desperation. Most of the people up there are unhappy.
LOU
Yes. Yes, they are.
FRANK
They’re waiting for something.
LOU
What?
FRANK
Something that will take away that unhappiness. Something to make them happy. Eternal prozac.
LOU
But they’re up there. They’re free. What more do they need?
FRANK
They don’t feel free.
LOU
How can they not? They’re out in the air. They’re living in a house of cards, essentially. How much freer does it get?
FRANK
They feel trapped.
LOU
I feel trapped. I AM trapped. Trapped in a concrete house.
FRANK
But other than that, you’re free.
LOU
Free? Frank. Stop talking nonsense. I’m living in a bomb shelter. How am I FREE?
FRANK
No commitments. No bills. No one expecting you to be somewhere, do something, be someone you’re not.
LOU
But… but I’m… I’m in a CAGE. A concrete cage!
FRANK
Concrete can be just as confining as cards. You have time.
LOU
Time. I have no time.
FRANK
You have more time than anyone up there.
LOU
I’d trade with any of them in a second. A second! Do you hear me up there? I’d take your place! They don’t know how lucky they are. They really don’t.
FRANK
Neither do you.
LOU
Frank, you annoy the hell out of me.
FRANK
Because I’m right.
LOU
When I get back… when I’m FREE again… I’m going to live different.
FRANK
No. You’ll be waiting for another chance. A chance to get free from whatever confines you. Whether it be concrete walls or something less tangible, seemingly flimsy like cards, it still gets a hold on you.
LOU
I can’t believe you.
FRANK
I half disbelieve myself sometimes.
LOU
You are such a pessimist.
FRANK
Nah, I believe in
LOU
And money.
FRANK
Money appears to make the world go round.
LOU
Money doesn’t help anyone.
FRANK
But you need it. Where would you be without it?
LOU
Happy. Free.
FRANK
In jail. Broke.
LOU
At least I wouldn’t be here.
FRANK
But down here at least you have a purpose. Direction.
LOU
Yeah. I’ve got purpose alright. Building card houses. Waiting. Waiting for a call to tell me to kill someone.
FRANK
And you think I’m the pessimist.
LOU
You and I don’t agree on anything.
FRANK
No, we don’t appear to.
LOU
How did the two of us get stuck down here together? Why did they choose us? Who selected you and me out the requests for this position?
FRANK
I don’t know. Why don’t you call the president up and ask him.
LOU
No really, why the two of us? Why did YOU ask to be down here?
FRANK
I can’t remember.
LOU
Sure you can. Come on, you can tell me.
FRANK
I honestly don’t remember.
LOU
Alright. I’ll start. Why did I ask to be given this position?
FRANK
I’m not at all curious to know.
LOU
I’ll tell you anyway. What on earth did I say?
FRANK
Do you have to think out loud?
LOU
Yep. It was something about having more of an effect on my country, a recognizable impact. Do you remember what they told us?
FRANK
Somewhat.
LOU
Nothing. They told us nothing. Simply that it was a highly important position and one needed to be loyal to ones people to consider the role.
FRANK
What made you think you wanted to do it, then?
LOU
It sounded exciting. Like an adventure I’d get paid for.
FRANK
And the loyal part didn’t phase you at all?
LOU
Loyal? I’m loyal, Frank. I’m not a blind follower, but I love humanity; I don’t have to worship this government to be loyal to my people.
FRANK
But then who are your people if not the ones taken care of by this government?
LOU
All of humanity are my people.
FRANK
I don’t want to argue this again.
LOU
Then tell me why you wanted to live down here.
FRANK
You already know.
LOU
Obviously I don’t if I’m asking. Tell me again.
FRANK
I don’t have anyone up there anymore. I don’t mind being stationed somewhere obscure. I’ve got no one I’d miss. Besides, I believe in doing my duty for my country. And yes, it did sound like an adventure. I thought... I thought it might be exhilarating, thrilling. Anything besides the monotony of life.
LOU
Ha. And look what we got stuck with. The irony is ticking me off.
FRANK
You need to get yourself a hobby.
LOU
Like what? What is there to do down here? Bomb-watching?
FRANK
Build a house out of cards.
LOU
A house of cards, eh?
FRANK
Yup. Very satisfying. Allows you to tune eeeverything else out.
LOU
Huh. Gimme some cards.
SCENE V
(LOU and FRANK are once more sitting at
the table playing cards with the house rising up behind them. The extra chair
should be lit to emphasize its emptiness.)
FRANK
Alright. This one’s mine.
LOU
Dream on.
FRANK
And I have three threes. What do you got?
LOU
Pass.
FRANK
Ha. Pair of tens.
LOU
Pair of queens.
FRANK
Pair of kings.
LOU
Pass.
FRANK
Nine, ten, jack.
LOU
Pass.
FRANK
Pair of sixes.
LOU
Pass, pass, pass.
FRANK
And a five.
LOU
Okay. Fine. Deal again.
FRANK
How many games is that now? I might just stop here. Quit while I’m ahead.
LOU
Deal it out!
FRANK
I like ending on a high note.
LOU
There’s nothing else to do. Come on. Deal.
FRANK
Alright, alright. There you go.
LOU
I’m first.
FRANK
Just try and beat me.
LOU
I will try. And I’ll win, to boot.
FRANK
Yeah, just like they’re winning up there.
LOU
Don’t talk about it. I’m trying to forget.
FRANK
It sounds bad.
LOU
It’s always been bad.
FRANK
Worse.
LOU
It’s been getting worse all along.
FRANK
But enough so that they might have to... you know.
LOU
Use us?
FRANK
Looks like it. Almost.
LOU
Hope to God not.
FRANK
What was that?
LOU
Six through jack.
FRANK
That’s six cards!
LOU
Yep.
FRANK
Well you know what I have to say to that?
LOU
Nothing?
FRANK
Nope, I’ve got something up my sleeve.
LOU
Is that so?
FRANK
I. Have. A bomb.
LOU
Yeah, well, so do I.
FRANK
But you can’t set yours off without my code.
LOU
Lay it down.
FRANK
I’m enjoying holding it over your head right now.
LOU
I noticed.
FRANK
Is now the most beneficial moment? I can’t decide.
LOU
Well, have you considered the moral implications of playing this bomb?
FRANK
Not really. I know that I’d win.
LOU
If you play that bomb-
FRANK
I’ll win.
LOU
You’ll ruin my chances at winning, too.
FRANK
Well, yes. Only one of us can win.
LOU
You take away any chance I have of saving my own butt.
FRANK
Yes, I do.
LOU
Is that fair?
FRANK
It’s a card game. Cards are never fair.
LOU
I’m just saying. To drop a bomb on someone isn’t fair.
FRANK
Lou. Life. Is not. Fair.
LOU
Okay. Drop it. Beat me. Win.
FRANK
I will. There you go. I win.
LOU
Damn. New game.
(The phone rings.)
FRANK
Crap. There it goes. I’ll get it. (Picks it up.) Hello, this is Frank, what can we do for you? Oh! Yes sir. We’re ready. I... yes. Hmm. Two minutes. (He hangs up.) Lou?
LOU
Yeah?
FRANK
Put your earpiece in.
LOU
It’s in.
FRANK
Lou?
LOU
Yeah?
FRANK
This is it.
LOU
I figured.
FRANK
Are you ready?
LOU
Are you?
FRANK
I’ve been ready for months. Lets go. (The two take their positions, pushing buttons, typing, pulling levers, whatnot.) One minute forty-five seconds.
LOU
You never told me what you were counting down.
FRANK
The president. He’s calling back in one minute forty seconds.
LOU
With a yes or no?
FRANK
With a yes. Most likely. (FRANK continues to work. LOU stops.)
LOU
Frank?
FRANK
What reading are you getting? Mine seems off.
LOU
Ah... no, mine’s right on target.
FRANK
Good. What’d you want?
LOU
I don’t feel good about this.
FRANK
Christ, don’t tell me you’re getting claustrophobic again. This is not the time.
LOU
No. This just doesn’t feel right.
FRANK
Oh, Lord. Is your moral sense finally kicking in?
LOU
Something like that.
FRANK
Well. Too bad. You’re in the Secret Service, Lou. You follow orders.
LOU
It’s not the right thing to do.
FRANK
Twenty-five seconds, Lou. You have a crappy sense of timing.
LOU
I can’t live with this on my conscious.
FRANK
Then blame it on those above us! Lou, it’s not your fault, you’re just following orders.
LOU
I could use that excuse before. But not now. I’ve had too much time to think. I can’t go through with it.
FRANK
Lou, you’re killing me! (The phone rings.) Don’t touch it. (He answers.) Frank here. You need another... alright. Yes. Right here. (He hangs up.)
LOU
Well?
FRANK
He’s calling back. When he does, he wants to be put on speakerphone.
LOU
Speakerphone?
FRANK
Don’t say anything stupid. Lou?
LOU
I don’t have anything STUPID to say.
FRANK
The fate of the world is going to be determined in the next few minutes. Don’t screw
it up.
LOU
That’s exactly what I’m trying to stop you from doing.
FRANK
I’m trying to save your sorry ass.
LOU
Don’t do this, Frank. You know better. (The phone rings.) Frank.
FRANK
Shut up. Hello Mr. President. One moment. (He pushes several buttons, then sets the phone down on the table.) Mr. President?
PRESIDENT
(intercom) Frank?
FRANK
Yes sir.
PRESIDENT
(intercom) Frank, Lou, you wouldn’t believe, crazy as a mad-house up here, loosing my sanity, something, something’s got to be done. Thought maybe.. maybe you could...
FRANK
What do you need?
PRESIDENT
(intercom) Well, circumstances being what they are and all, absolutely bonkers, you know. I’m sure you understand, really, no one else does, not good, not good at all-
LOU
Mr. President...
FRANK
Do you have an order for us?
PRESIDENT
(intercom) What’s that? Oh, yes, yes, I, suppose, I mean, it’s all I can do at this point, going downhill every moment, not working, not working at all. You’re going to have to do it, boys. You understand why.
FRANK
Yes sir. When?
LOU
Frank, Mr. President, I can’t...
PRESIDENT
(intercom) As soon, oh, as soon as possible, I suppose, can’t let it get any worse up here, boys dying left and right, you know, don’t know what else to do, have to do it, you’ll have to. Right this minute.
FRANK
Right away.
PRESIDENT
(intercom) Got to go, cabinet calling
me, don’t have another moment, give me a call, eh? Let me know how it goes?
Right then. Good luck, and all that. Er. Goodbye. (The line goes dead and drones out a dial tone.)
FRANK
Well, there you are.
LOU
We’re not doing it.
FRANK
Yes, we are. (He hangs up the phone.)
LOU
Frank. I won’t let you.
FRANK
You don’t have a choice at this point. It’s out of your hands.
LOU
On the contrary, ev